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I am free here in this space to share with you a little more about myself, the Author of “The Way Out Book”, but only so far as is necessary.

Because this Book is NOT a book about “ME”, yet it has EVERYTHING to do about “ME”, but having more to do with the “ME” who is a Soldier of the Light.

A soldier’s experience, and this is how I won the war. . .

Though I may well have won the Battle of the War Within, this does not prevent the occasional skirmish along my Boundary Lines.  There is ALWAYS so much more to Learn and Understand.  There is ALWAYS room for improvement. 

These occasional moments of ‘pushing back’’ also serves me well by preventing complacency, and it also reminds myself once again of just what it is exactly that I am here on this Earth to do – and that is to Learn, Grow and Evolve.  Nothing else matters.

To remember that everyone else out there is feeling pain, discomfort and going through something in any given moment in time, just like I am.  Oh yes, and the crashing realization that I am not the center of anyone else’s Universe but my own.  It is easy to forget this, and to forget that everyone else is truly doing the best they can with what they know how to do and with the information that they are given – just like me, and just like you.

Understanding this enabled me to forgive myself for all the ‘bad’ things I have done and experienced in the past.  “In the Past” is the key phrase.  Self condemnation just loves to hold on tight to the memories of these experiences, just to make sure we still hate ourselves for not having done this or that, or simply because we believe we ‘should’ have known what to do but didn’t etc etc.  The guilt we dump on ourselves is phenomenal.  So I tell myself to go back to that moment in time where the ‘bad’ experience occurred, and take a closer look.  The person I have become today would most certainly have chosen very differently in that experience simply because I now KNOW so much more.  Back then, with such a limited understanding of myself and the world, I more often than not made very bad to terrible choices for myself.  So why continue to punish myself for something that I did not have the necessary skills to deal with at that time?  

But, whatever your ‘past bad thing’ might be, remember that at that point in time you did not know any better, and if you did know you would have done it. If presented with that same experience today I would most certainly respond differently, because now I DO know better.  I must allow everyone else in my present and my past the benefit of the same.  The benefit of growth and change.  I am not the same person I was back then or even yesterday.  Life is a Live & Learn sort of world you know. 

It’s ALL about screwing up, making mistakes, falling. . .  Why?  So we can learn, understand it and get right back up and keep moving forward.  

The Sin is not in falling; it’s in not getting up. 

I forgive another their error in hope that they will forgive me mine.

I discovered also that behind ALL extreme behaviors there is someone who is suffering the most pain.  Suppressing the most pain.  Extreme behavior is the distortion created when pain is denied, suppressed and undealt with.  

Observe also the ‘quiet’ folk.  Do not be fooled.  Just beneath the surface of this passive exterior, lies a dormant volcanic eruption of rage.  Again, a result of more suppression and denial.   Oh, we Humans are incredible creatures to study don’t you think?

And it is here that I’d like to share with you a few overall words of encouragement and tips that have helped ME push through to the other side of my darkest hours, in hope that they will inspire and encourage another to hold on and push through the other side of their own personal darkness.

I also do not wish to offend anyone who is quite happy with their ‘religion’ of choice, for I do not want you to misunderstand me when I speak of ‘religion’.  We all must believe in something greater than ourselves.  It’s really a case of whatever works for us individually.  There is no right or wrong way.  I am merely here to describe to you ANOTHER way.  

What I really love about THIS way, is the discovery that our Creator is a pretty cool dude.  THIS way never threatens me with guilt.  There are NO opinions, NO judgments, just incredible encouragement.  THIS way never makes me feel bad about myself but instead teaches me with repetition about my True Magnificence whilst discovering my full Creative Potential. THIS way is gentle. THIS way to me feels comfortable, like snuggling into a big ball of fluffy cotton wool. Most importantly, THIS way evolves results.   

Through my passionate desire to become whole and to understand myself, I have in actual fact stumbled upon primal psychology.  The very word ‘psychology’ means study of the Spirit.   I began to understand the psyche and all of its workings and functions.  To understand means to be Enlightened.  The more I allowed the exploration, the more I understood, allowing in turn more movement forward toward Enlightenment.

For those of you who may perhaps feel a jarring or a balking at reading this book because you may not feel comfortable with it having a ‘spiritual’ connotation, then may I suggest an approach with the curiosity to understand more about your psyche and how it works and functions?  It is truly fascinating stuff.

Before we can do anything at all, we must learn to be self disciplined enough to be totally honest with ourselves.  Why bother doing this if we are not going to do what it takes?  Don’t do this then.  Truly.  Remember that the more effort we put into being courageous and changing and growing, the greater the changes will be that will reflect back to us in our worlds.  Why would I expect much to change in my world if I am too scared or more likely too lazy to apply myself 100%?  When I only put in a little bit of effort, then my outside world will reflect back to me only a little bit of change.  Hardly worth it really.

No one is here MAKING you be honest with yourself.  It is purely YOUR choice if you wish to be so and in doing so you will have chosen the correct key that will unlock the first big chunky door that allows you through to the ‘Awakenings’ that stimulate and stir your senses, almost as if inducing Self Awareness involuntarily.  All by choosing to be honest with ourselves?  

This is a struggle at first and for seemingly forever, but we do give up and give in to ourselves eventually.  Be patient.  Be consistent.

Remember that there is no race to Enlightenment, and that there is no God/Creator/Thing that is holding a stopwatch to time us and our pace of growing and evolving to the finish line, as there is NO finish line as such.  We all choose to grow and evolve at the pace of our choosing, and we always have the power to ‘pick up the pace’ at any time.  

Remember that there is no ‘there’ that we seem to feel that we HAVE to get to.  It’s all about the Journey ‘there’.  So Relax, Observe & Enjoy the ride of the un-raveling process.  Wait until you get a glimpse of your True Magnificence. . . .Ooh la la! 

After all, we ARE our Journey.

“At the end of the day,

  I remind myself often,

  there is only so much of this world,

  I can fit in my coffin.”

When I wrote those above words they truly blew me away.  How powerful are they?  What impact.  They slammed into my psyche, grounded me to the Earth and centered me firmly in the here and now with a potent ‘reality check’.

I felt an incredible sense of weight lifting off me (stress). 


Wow, I finally ‘got’ it!  I finally Understood totally even though I have known it a long time.

I cannot take ANYTHING from this world with me when I die.  Now, REALLY think about that one.  I can’t even take my big toe nail with me!  So what is there left then?  Oh, there is my

Spirit, my Soul.  Oh yes, this is what is left that goes with me.  This is the ONLY thing I can take with me.

That being so, means that my ONLY true focus of attention should, at all times, be on my Spirit, my Soul and my Middle.

This realization assisted me to fully Understand the Truth about Letting Go.  It severed my last threads of any attachments to people, places and ‘things’.  ‘Things’ are lovely to look at and to enjoy, but if they were to be gone tomorrow I would feel no loss.  By achieving the experience of having no attachments, I also achieve the experience of feeling no pain or sense of loss.  ‘Things’ are just ‘things’.  This takes away my ‘thinking’ about what I feel I ‘need’ and the stress of trying to make it happen, and also the big ‘down’ when I don’t get it.

I didn’t get it because it was not something that was True for me and it was only my mind running and ruining my world.  These ‘ups and downs’ are purely of our own making.

I will NEVER miss out on what is mine.

Those anxieties and fears drip away when I trust that no matter what things might look like, good or bad, it is all meant to be for whatever reasons.  Just because my mind (fear) DEMANDS that I MUST have something, does not mean that it is actually meant to be mine.  We must let go of the control we mistakenly think we have over the Universe.

Always be prepared, because things can change in any given moment.

Remember to ALWAYS question.  Whatever it is, if you are unsure, QUESTION it.  Question everything.  Question everything that I am saying.  Never take anything as true for you until you have questioned it.  We learn by questioning and asking questions.  We then learn the difference between answers that are True and those that are not.  Again, this is how we learn.

This brings us back to the most important question of all that we must ask ourselves, 

“What state of health is my Spirit in right now?”

If our Spirit is the going to be the only thing we can take with us, we better hope it is in good shape then. . . ..  

And so it is here that I focus my attention.  My undivided attention and focus at all times is on my Spirit and my Growth.  


- Brenda Joy Nimwegen.

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